Holiday Survival Tips 2023

The 2023 holiday season is descending upon us!

We can see all around us that is has begun. Store decorations and displays are our indicator of what is to come. We are only two weeks passed October 31, the widely celebrated spooky Halloween, and we are already seeing the Christmas wrapping and decorations adorning store shelves and displays. We didn't even hit Thanksgiving yet!

I don't know about you, but I immediately start to feel the frantic pull of -MUST GO-MUST DO- MUST buy-Buy-BUY. HURRY HURRY HURRY!!!!

Is your mind kicking into high gear TASK MODE? Are your thoughts filled with and swirling around -What needs to be done? What needs to be bought? What needs to be cleaned? When will I shop and prepare?

And wait.... OMG!!! How's my money situation? Did I/we save? Not save? What won't I pay in order to buy gifts? What credit card will be used?

Lots of tasks, priorities and people to think about.

Are YOU on that list of priorities?

We are often last on our own list? Hmmmm.

Am I considering myself, my time, my energy, my stress levels ANNNNND my emotional state? Some of us have the dreaded interactions with family members, whom, we don't particularly get along with. .... Let's just be honest. We may just not like them!

Does that describe some of your thoughts?

And for those of us in recovery and maintaining abstinence from substances and overeating. We make ask ourselves how we are getting through this season, clean, sober and still avoiding the foods that cause us problems.

OK, now that we have identified that -yes Annie- I think like that too. But I just don't say it.

Well I did it for you ;)

Now What? Now what do we do with that information?

The questions start entering my mind of how to practice my self care?

How will I balance all this?

How will I prepare to be around my family?

How can I cope, before, during and after?

How will I manage my time and tasks?

Where is the money coming from?

When will I shop, clean and cook?

How will I maintain my clean time, my sobriety, my food abstinence?

ALL THIS while balancing every day responsibilities of family, pets, home and work.

Here are some of my solution focused questions that I begin to ask myself:

• Can I ask anyone for help?

• DO I ask anyone for help?

• Do I know I CAN ask for help?

• Do I ask kindly, or is it demanding and aggressive?

• We don't like aggressive towards us-do we? So why am I doing it to others?

• Do I ask apologetically, then don't get the help I need, because they didn't think I was serious.

• Now, I find myself resentful. When that happens am I honest or do I say "that's OK", when its really not?

Hmmmm does any of this sound familiar?????

This makes me think of one of my favorite YouTube videos entitled "Company is coming" (Look it up) Which always gives me a great belly laugh!! But also makes me realize. I DO THAT!!! I act like a ranting lunatic and expect everyone to fall in line with my demands and I am angry, annoyed and disappointed.

Some of my tried and true methods in preparing for family time and company.

1. Be realistic with self, time, finances and emotions.

2. Prioritize tasks and slot them on the calendar.

3. Avoid making to-do lists. Add tasks directly on the calendar with the amount of time it will take to do.

   1. Phones calls.

   2. Planning time (usually Sunday evening or Monday is a good time to map out the week).

   3. Making lists (yes, I even make time to make lists).

   4. Shopping trips. It's super helpful to map out the days, times, locations, so its in route with travels for the week.

   5. Wrapping gifts. (I'm not gonna lie, this ends up being on Christmas Eve task because there is not much for me to wrap anymore). But I will share a good strategy I have seen others do- is wrap as soon as they are purchased. GREAT IDEA!!

   6. Cooking prep/can things be frozen? (One of my Mentees-Jamie will be laughing at me for that because I freeze everything- yes even MILK!).

   7. Coordinating and make travel arrangements.

   8. Packing.

   9. Travel time.

   10. Unpacking time.

   11. Post holiday regroup and decompression time.

4. Get on top of your budget, finances and credit NOW. Know where you stand- it totally reduces anxiety later. I know - DO IT ANYWAY!!

5. ASK FOR HELP!!! You deserve to have it.

6. Delegate with love and kindness, be realistic about who you are asking and what you are asking of them.

7. Communication is key.

   1. Be clear with your words.

   2. Keep it simple in what you need as you need it.

   3. Direct language-we don't have to be mean, just say what you need AND when you need it done.

   4. Remember-no one can read your mind-use your words.

8. Protect yourself from emotional situations during the holiday celebrations that may be "trigger" situations for you.

9. Make a plan to attend to your recovery before the day, during and after. Let your network, counselor, therapist know what you are thinking and feeling BEFORE going into the day or gathering.

10. Follow up with them after. Make sure to talk about how you got through it. It will reinforce the steps you are taking in your wellness.

11. Self care, self care, self care. What does that mean?

    1. BREATHE- don't under estimate the power of breath, especially if you suffer with headaches.

    2. Pause when needed, this is not emergency surgery. No one is going to leave this earth if something doesn't get completed.

    3. Take your time where you need it.

    4. Have social time (that doesn't always include a loaded beverage hmm).

    5. Outdoor time- it changes your energy. I will walk on the beach any time of the year in the northeast-it does wonders for clearing the mind.

    6. Pay attention to what is going in your body. Ask yourself - Am I being careless with food, drinks, other substances?

    7. Mani, pedi, massage time anyone??? You don't always have to do an hour massage. 30 minutes could give you just the release you need (no-I'm not talking about happy endings-where did YOUR mind go ?).

    8. Reflect at the end of the day- remind yourself why you do what you do.... probably because you love your family, you love entertaining and you love the holidays. So let's act like we do!

    9. Let your love shine through your attitude this holiday season. You only have today-let's make it a good one.

    10. Keep your close peeps -CLOSE. We need them the most as our "sounding boards".

        1. No need to shove it down and wait until after the holidays. Process it as it comes up and keep it moving, so you have good celebrations.

    11. Be true to YOU.

        1. Remember "NO" is a complete sentence. It's ok if you can't do something for someone else. It's not rejecting or hurting someone else, it's protecting and taking care of yourself.

Happy Thanksgiving!

With loving, healing energy.

your Life & Recovery Coach